World’s WORST Fortune


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I thought I’d just inject a little humor into the day, for a Monday.

Over the weekend, I grabbed Panda Express on the way home.  What can I say?  It’s fast and cheap and near the house.  I promise…next weekend, I’m driving to Arcadia (an hour away) to eat at Din Tai Fung.  Good Chinese food matters to me, but not when I’m in a hurry and hungry.

So, the food was as you’d expect, but at least it provided a great belly laugh when my husband cracked open his fortune cookie and found this:

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Really, Panda Express?  Really?  You call that a fortune?   I’m pretty sure that’s not what any psychic on Fairfax Ave. reading your tarot cards for ten bucks would call a fortune, and I doubt these words were ever spoken by Confucius.  I think folks in the fortune cookie division at old Panda Express are bitter about not getting Saturdays off and are taking it out on the cookies.

Here are some things Confucius actually said, Panda Express.  Try one of these next time:

  • Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
  • What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.
  • What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
  • To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
  • The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.
  • Things that are done, it is needless to speak about…things that are past, it is needless to blame.
  • Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
  • If a man takes no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand.
  • Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.
  • Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
  • It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

And my personal favorite:

  • They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.

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